i envy those of you who drank enough tonight to have no problems going to sleep.
i think i'm a bad person.
i have a persistent headache. it's bad enough that i can't even get comfortable enough to sleep it away.
i spent all last night studying for my history midterm this morning. got about two-three hours of sleep and it was the type of sleep where you dream about what you were doing before you drifted off... then for some reason you can't tell that it's a dream even though the thought of your grandfather half-covered in an invisibility cloak is quite impossible when you're conscious. i dreamt i was still studying for my midterm, and still felt sick from the overdose of caffeine, still had my heart pounding out of control like it was going to explode if i didn't calm down and stop being paranoid about things that were most likely hallucinations. i couldn't help but run away from it and was scared out of my mind because i knew that the last step on the staircase would always slow me down and whatever the pills made me imagine would catch up to me. but it's funny that my source of comfort was the prospect of a 4AM phone call in the security of my own bedroom.
then my alarm clock went off and i woke up at 6 all like, "wtf was that shit all about?"
got to school, and guess what? my midterm got postponed. again. good news? hell no, it isn't! you don't know how much other shit i have to worry about this week! i was welcoming the relief of getting my history midterm over with, but no~!! now i have to worry about studying for it again while not getting any sleep that night 'cuz i have a paper due in english the same day! or so i thought. paper due date postponed 'til next monday. i'd've cried if i didn't feel like passing out from lack of sleep and hunger.
had to drop off my car at m-service after school so they could take a look at the exhaust system. i drove around concord/pacheco/pleasant hill/walnut creek for an hour and a half getting lost 'cuz my stepdad wouldn't fucking drive back to his work so i could just follow him. it sucked so bad... it was a fuck of a lot of going on/getting off various highways at peak traffic hours. like i needed anymore stress. hopefully they fix whatever it is that's giving me shitty mileage, though (or maybe most of that is my bad sense of direction). the only thing i've really been spending my parents' money on is gas and i know i could do without asking them to wire me money so often.
i really don't wanna worry about it during midterms, but i still need to find a job. maybe if i get desperate enough, i'll go interview for that telemarketing thing elaine told me about. it might be fun telling people i have a job as the scum of the earth. works wonders for the self-esteem, doesn't it?
all of a sudden, other people's problems aren't as amusing anymore. and omg, i just realized what the grouphug logo is...
god, i just fucking hate everyone today.
for not taking an english class for a year, shitting out my first essay of the semester wasn't that bad at all. i only needed to cut one class this morning to finish it. and it was such a stupid topic... writing about an object and what it means to you. i'd rather have done an analysis. and blarg.. i hate job-hunting!! this is the first time i've had to do it, and i hate it already. it's like continually being rejected! everytime i submit an application and the manager's there, it's always, "so, you've got no work experience, eh?" gahh... this sucks.
but on a lighter note, love parade was this saturday. after all that bitching about not being able to go last year, you wouldn't think i'd make myself late to the point of missing the parade. but that's what you get when you've got me and elaine (filipino time x2), and on top of that, adelina being late for once. ruth came along too, but any lateness we might've added on because of her is negligible XP. at least the music didn't end 'til 9, so i had time to get lost/unlost and teach mitch how to dance! ...sort of. he's gotten better from what i can tell when he wasn't trying to block hits from me, elaine, and adelina. at least it didn't break out into an all-out fight like what happened at the power to the peaceful concert on the 12th (yes, we have a very violent relationship, but no worries, it's in a good way XD).
ruth left early and gerry came by towards the end of love parade. we didn't make it to any afterparties 'cuz we were all tired and/or stoned, so we just went back to mitch's and ate all his food and bothered his roommate 'cuz his bedroom had the only working toilet in the entire apartment. from what i can remember, it was all really fun, but now i need to buy some detox...
geez, a lot of stuff's happened in the past week. much less of it is school now that i've dropped physics. that was pretty much the cause of all of my stress 'cuz i felt like i didn't really have a lot of time to put into it, and so much shit happened to make me fall behind, too, so i'm just like, fuck it, i'm out. it didn't help that i didn't really like the professor all that much, either. he seems like a nice guy at first, but he has this very subtle asshole quality to him that you catch on to once you really get to interact with him.
yeah, anyway, i've been looking for a job, mostly so my mother can't hold the fact that she's paying for everything of mine above my head when i do something she doesn't like (which, right now, clearly seems to be having a boyfriend). i applied in a lot of places at sunvalley and in the general vicinity of the school, and i guess i was lucky that the manager was there when i submitted my application at longs 'cuz they were hiring and i think i got an on-the-spot interview. took the drug test tuesday and got lost on the way to the clinic so i ended up being late for calculus (and the quiz, as well... i got about half the time everyone else got to finish it and still got 11/12). damn one way streets! at least i've heard that they wouldn't waste their time giving you a drug test if they weren't seriously considering hiring you. also had to take this survey/personality test and it seems like a lot of people either steal, show up high to work, or are clumsy to the point of hurting themselves. oh, and rule-breaking looks like an issue. i just answered the way they wanted me to: "i'm too honest to steal," "marijuana's bad!" and "i'd never break the rules, even if it gets the job done."
oh yeah, i got pretty freaked out on monday when i was leaving the mall parking lot after all those applications. i should start out with me running late for english and how i'm still bad at backing up and realigning my car in a small parking space. i spent about five minutes doing that and ended up making my situation worse to the point that i couldn't get out of the parking spot without hitting the car next to me. and i did and hella scratched up my car and passenger side mirror while at it. at least the owner of the other car wasn't there to see me drive away... but anyway, when i was getting into my car to leave the mall, this dude was passing by slowly in a car with some friends and says to me, "hey, i see you've got some scratches on your car..." me: O_O!!! nearly gave me a heart attack in the two seconds before revealing to me that it was a marketing scheme to buff them out for $30.
so back to tuesday... after school, i picked up mitch from bart, got pho, went shopping, took him to school and made him agree with how pretty the asian boys here are, etc. and no, i didn't make him come to pleasant hill just to hang out. i needed his "drive-like-an-asshole" skills to drive back to SF with me 'cuz i'm a stress case and i probably wouldn't be able to stand driving in the city, especially when i think driving in the east bay sucks bad enough. anyway, mitch bought tickets to go see aqualung perform with the perishers and tracy bonham as the bands opening for him. i'd never heard of tracy bonham before, but she and her band were pretty cool. and the perishers!! they sound so awesome live!! mitch got to see me go fangirl on ola klüft's ass when the band was signing autographs. haha... it's funny 'cuz i didn't even wanna talk to them once i got up there in the line, mitch ended up getting my CD signed for me. anyway... i hadn't really heard too much of aqualung before the show, but i thought the performance was awesome. the guy's cute!funny, and the band went and did like, random improv songs and disco versions of their music and ended with a cover of queen's somebody to love. quite the coincidence 'cuz we were listening to queen during the trip down to santa cruz with ruth and edwin last sunday.
i don't feel like writing about that... i'll just wait 'til ruth updates her LJ.
you know, everytime i talk to him, mitch asks me where my blog is. haven't told him, and if he's smart enough (or just really hard up on it), he'll figure it out... or he did already and just hasn't told me (if that's the case, mitch, you're a ho). i thought i did well enough google-proofing my LJ by skewing info and checking all the other stuff alex and danny've told me about stalking, but i really can't do any more than that without pulling some other shit that i really don't think is worth the trouble. anyway, it's not like there's anything i'm hiding other than private/friends-only entries and whatever else i didn't straight-out tell anyone reading my journal, and it's not like i live an interestingly scandalous sort of life, either.
oh! anyone else get random myspace messages from geof (daniel's brother) about wanting to hang out and shit, or is that just me? he sent me his phone number and told me not to tell his brother (hahaha, daniel, if you're reading this...) but i'm iffy on calling for more reasons than one; mainly because i'm still kinda creeped out about sobering up after daniel's party to find out that ruth had gotten me out of a rather... compromising situation. so yeah, i think i'll just accept the fact that school's starting this week and that i should start cutting back on going out so much ::cough cough::
man...i'm gonna be hella busy trying to get my shit in order this sem... and on a side note, i'm considering selling mikhail, so if anyone's interested in a slightly scratched-up, 10 month old 20GB 3.0.1 ipod...